i don't smoke. but sometimes i do.

smoking is wrong and gross and unhealthy.

i like organic food. i drink raw milk. i enjoy kale and brown rice. i have not had a soda in 5 years. i don't buy food that has hydrogenated oil or high fructose corn syrup in it. we eat sprouted grain bread and free range, vegetarian fed, hormone free chicken. i think candy is gross. i won't eat boxed cookies. they scare me. what are they? what is in a ritz cracker? chemicals, that's what. nasty, toxic chemicals.

but....

I like to bake cakes, cookies, scones, muffins, and pies. i use sugar. lots of it. i make frosting with tons of butter and sugar and lick it off my fingers. i will bake cookies and eat 10 of them in a sitting, no problem. i can eat 5 cupcakes right now.

i also love alcohol. sweet sweet poison. i like beer. a lot. microbrews. ipa's. yum. i also really really enjoy vodka. i can go through a bottle in three days. and i have been known to drink mass quantities of champagne. i am drinking a beer right now.

which brings me to smoking. it is so gross. i actually see people smoking and think "nasty....why are they doing that? it is so unattractive and disgusting".

and then i smoke. not often. but i do. like....in the back yard....in the summer.....in the morning with a cup of strong coffee...listening to the birds......my feet in the grass.
or when i am sad and feel like crying and it is raining and windy and i am playing music loud i sit in the window and blow smoke through the screen.
or when i am driving and singing and a montage of memories like movie clips are flying around my head.
or when i am drunk.

but i don't smoke.

because i am healthy.

most of the time.