this is supposed to be an apology. but i suck.

you were there once.
across a table
sharing bites.
in a city apartment
dancing like maniacs.
in a coffee shop bathroom sink
washing my hair.

you were there once.

and then it crumbled.
i watched it
turn to pollen
float like dandelion seeds
with tiny umbrellas
and a thousand wishes.


and you are still lovely
but very far away.


i was there once
by the lake eating blueberries.
on the futon.
pretending not to watch you sing.
because that is what you wanted.


i was there once

and then it scattered
like sand
from a beach towel
forgotten
in the back of the car.

or pine needles
twirling down like
helicopters
and lost in snow.


you are still so lovely
and i am very far away.