Friday, October 2, 2009

dear ex-girlfriends,

we all have exes. unless we are my parents or my friend Sarah. holla!

so....we have past relationships. then we have current ones. sometimes we even get married.

and sometimes an ex girlfriend keeps showing up and it becomes an issue.


so.

dear husbands exes,

i know you are lovely people. i know you may want some validation and attention and believe me...i know it is easy to get from a past lover. i like majored in this shit. if feels easy, doesn't it? to reminisce.....flirt.....talk about your "connection" and that fun stuff. it is like a nice lil boost to your self esteem....oh...this person still gives a shit! i must not be so bad!

yes, yes. i know. but.....i am sorry......my husband.....is now my husband. and i want you to go the fuck away. he does not care about you, even if he says he does. what he feels is pity. a little guilt. he feels sorry for you because you wanted the things he now has. the things he told you he didn't want. the things he only wanted with me. also.....remember, he is a man and things get screwy in their brains. so he chatted. he picked up the phone call. he accepted the friend request. he was just being silly, wasn't he. so.....here are the new rules. YOU, ex girlfriend....GO AWAY. get a life. move on. shut up. he doesn't care about you anymore.

sincerely,

Wife



oh and

Dear Ex Boyfriends,

Call me!!

Just kidding.

i don't need validation from you because most of you are losers anyway....and i am HAPPILY MARRIED.

xo,

me

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post "No teme" in your blog with the link to you?

Kiara Buechler said...

Bwahaha, I know this is three years old, but this is hilarious!