new addictions:

- deadwood

once an episode is over i must watch another immediately. i have been staying up until 2 am every night compulsively watching show after show.

it is so fucking good. whores, booze, slitting throats.....ahh.....bedtime stories....

- baguettes with butter and jam. i can't get enough of bakery nouveau in west seattle.
everything is amazing.

- dahlias

- skyy vanilla vodka. i have had to cut myself off from this one...it was too delicious.

- trophy cupcake

addict

each gash will bleed
she'll slice and gush
to binge, to feel
her torture, her game
they are not yours to heal

her weight is not your own
she has the grip. she plays it well.
and she'll use your wings
when she jumps

everyone tries to save
a baby bird at least once

love, cupcakes, and quitting.

new things in my life:

1. the discovery of trophy cupcakes. it is amazing.

the triple chocolate is divine. like jesus made it. with godly ingredients. in heaven.

and the lemon cupcake is intense. the lemon butter cake is creamy and dense like pound cake and the fluffy buttercream frosting must have an entire lemon in it. or ten lemons.

they also have cute little cards. go there. you will not be disappointed.

2. my lover has moved in. with him came boxes and boxes of books. and more boxes of comic books. and 10,000 dvd's. and the house feels really really tiny now. tiny and full of love. i would live in a tent, if it meant living with him.

3. we have a wii. saturday nights now consist of smoking pot and playing wii into the wii hours. i always hated video games. until now. i am really good at wii bowling. unlike real bowling. it is like a dream come true.

4. i quit my job. the job i loved. i had a great salary. amazing benefits. great coworkers. except my boss....who just could not leave me alone. i learned a lot. i learned that once you lose all respect for the person you need to answer to, it won't work. i told him to "go fuck himself" and said "i don't know how you look in the mirror". the man is the biggest slimeball i have ever met. a manipulative, lying, cheating, shallow, arrogant asshole . i hope he gets what he deserves and lives miserably ever after now that he has left his wife and new baby to have the life of a spineless bachelor who finds fleeting joy in doing lines and fucking hookers. what a pile of shit.

5. it has been so long since i baked. now that i am unemployed....again....i will surely get back into it. who knows...perhaps i will start a bakery. i might finally be done with advertising. i want to do what i love. or least find a slight enjoyment in my soul from a job. is that too much to ask for?

6. we bought tickets to go to hawaii in november. for almost 2 weeks. fuck yes.

7. i might be getting married soon. it has been discussed.

this will change things. <- understatement of the year. i would be the luckiest girl alive. 8. i have discovered a new delightful cocktail. skyy vanilla vodka plus gus cranberry lime dry soda plus sparkling water plus squeeze of lime equals holy fucking shit delicious.

9. danger and i have discovered the best tacos in seattle. they come from a taco bus in white center. i could eat there every day. and it is $ 4.50 for three of the most incredible carne asada tacos north of tijauna.

10. being in love is fun.

i finished the chocolate cake i baked last week. the entire thing. each crumb. so....now i feel a little squishy and fluffy. but, on the bright side, my booty is looking delicious.

speaking of...the r kelly song "sex in the kitchen" is awesome....girl you in the kitchen....cooking me a meal.....

oh man. i love r kelly.

i went to Vashon Island on Saturday for the Lavender festival. I love how sleepy that place feels. and the air smells dreamy....for those of us with no allergies.

We bought peaches and cherries at the farmers market. Life is good.

here it is. a groove. slightly transformed.

i am in need of a good solid sunburn.

i know all about why this is a bad idea. i know it will age me. i know about skin cancer. i also know about lung cancer and that doesn't stop me from smoking an occasional cigarette.

there is just something fantastic about the first sunburn of the summer.

so far...i have had little time to do nothing on this vacation. i went to my child's swim lesson yesterday and watched babies flail around in the pool. it was nice. at least i can be one of those parents for a day or two.

jesus, if i have to hear any more about this girl that got disemboweled at the pool i am going to fucking kill something. I really don't want to hear about it.
i am sorry her intestines were sucked out of her butt, and i am glad she is telling people so it doesn't happen to them. it worked, ok! i will not sit on the drain anymore! even if i like the tickle....i won't do it.

Ratatouille was good. disturbing...but cute. it looked great...amazing what they can do with animation these days.

on the list for today....

go for walk
haircut
grocery store: milk, wine, crackers, hotdogs
get sunburn
bake blueberry scones
sit and ponder
water plants
clean kitchen


i wonder if this is what it is like for housewives.
i hate those people that say if they didn't work they would be bored. i never get bored. i hate working. i mean, i love my job...but really...i would rather be doing laundry and baking pies. and i don't mean that in the woman-in-home kind of way. i mean i prefer to task around and stare out the window and bake stuff. i find soul filling joy from these things.

summer should be this: wake up...drink coffee in back yard in undies. eat chocolate cake for breakfast (still in undies). take shower. put on dress and flipflops. go sit in sun. feel freckles form on cheeks. make out on beach towel. go home. have afternoon nap... wake up to sounds of lawnmowers, bumblebees and crows. watch sun streaks and breeze fill room. follow shadows across skin. get up. splash water on face. pick berries. bake pie. bbq hotdogs. sit in back yard and drink wine and listen to records. go to bed in undies and windows open.

perfection.

go here. and vote for pierre.

http://www.sxswclick.com/watch/pierre/

more than meets the eye

transformers. do it. so much rad. i cheered with each awesome transformation from badass car/truck/helicopter/jet to super badass robot. it was everything i hoped. i will see it again. and again. i wish i had my own transformer. even if it was a dykish robot that turns into a subaru.

i had a dream last night that i was driving down the freeway in reverse....but i was going forward. my car was making this horrible sound...and it was smoking and clanking and lurching. i keep thinking about this and attempting to psychoanalyze myself. i am sure it means that i should stop eating tuna melts before bed.

i am about to have 5 days off. i will spend as much time as possible staring at nothing thinking about nothing. drool. my ideal vacation is a frontal lobe lobotomy. or at least a coma.

portland is the coolest city. hmm. scratch that. portland is lame. don't move there.
i am madly in love with brick buildings with fire escapes. i want to live in one. i want to have flower pots on my fire escape. and i want to sit on my fire escape and drink wine and look at the moon and ponder. and flee if i smell smoke.

i had a maid come clean my house. i am at a new level. it was fantastic and so worth it. i love paying people to do all the shit i hate and don't want to do. wow. i am such a grown up. or...wow....i am so fucking lazy.

summer is here. i wish i had a front porch.

here is what i am happy i have this summer:

1. a working lawnmower
2. a candle that smells like a morning on the beach in hawaii.
3. my back yard. it is a glowy magical place. now with paper lanterns and jasmine.
4. the recipe for macrinas fresh fruit muffins. dude. summer in muffin form. so delicious.
5. records. and a turntable (i need). and screens on my windows.
6. new camera. a device to capture moments. so simple. so huge.
7. twilight
8. this shea butter and cocoa butter lotion that makes me want to eat myself.
9. spicy kielbasa on the grill....on a bun with cream cheese....heaven...
10. Danger Brown.