Tuesday, April 15, 2008

said all the things she'll never hear

sometimes all it takes to move on is a deep breath. sometimes it is hours of therapy. sometimes it is time. mostly it is time.

i had a dream last night that i was kicking the shit out of someone. in real life, this person has been....hmm...the source of some hurt.

and that is all it took. this dream. i said all the things i needed to. i destroyed this person fairly and deservedly. and i woke up and felt at peace with it.

there are things i don't understand. i don't know why some people are cold and hurtful. i am starting to finally come to a place where i don't need to understand....i can still let it go. i can heal and move on. it hurts. people are disappointing and cruel. i can only continue to heal, forgive and focus on the amazing, wonderful blessings i have...rather than trying to make sense out of the people that disappoint me.

it is funny ....i have been really focused on a healthy mind and spirit.....a gentle and loving heart.....and not harboring negative or toxic feelings......and then i have this dream full of anger and violence that allows me to move on. i am sure i was holding onto some anger...even while trying not to, and it needed to come out.

Saturday was beautiful. 76 degrees. we walked to the pool for swim lessons. then walked to the beach. we walked for about 3 hours. and one hour on the beach. my calves are still sore.

i found this really delicious Hawaiian beer with liliko'i in it. i love it. it tastes best in my back yard in the sun.

i think it would be even better sitting on the beach in hawaii....but i try not to think about that.


i am almost 29.
and i got a new job.
i am very, very excited.

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