i just got on the scale.
the good news is that i am a lot less than i thought. funny how in my head i am always about 10 lbs heavier than i am in reality. is my self image really that off from reality? yes. yes it is completely skewed.
the bad news is i still have 13 lbs to get rid of to reach my...sigh.....dream weight.
i want to run. i do. i want to feel that nice sensation of moving my body...of breathing in rhythm....of sweating. however....i lack so much motivation at this point that i have a hard time even putting on shoes.
and it's not like i have nothing to motivate for....i have a race i agreed to run in march with sarah....i have a trip to hawaii planned for February 25th.....as in.....exactly 5 weeks from today....as in....putting my pale, tapioca pudding body into a bikini.
speaking of hawaii.....while looking into this trip, i decided to see what other beach options are out there....
most of what i found was depressing because there is no way we will ever spend 10 grand on a vacation....but......look! bora bora!! for $9800!!
however....on the flip side, i found that we could fly to Cabo....stay at an all inclusive hotel....for a week...for 1900. both of us. that includes everything*. like as much alcohol that you can drink. like the best chips and guacomole ever. like 1000 tacos.
*it does not include the lobster (which had me instantly think...who the hell eats lobster in mexico?)
however....when i told dan all this about mexico.....he said "my stomach hurt when you said Cabo"
which is a great point.
hawaii is so perfect.
i am a snob about vacations. and about a few other things. like i won't ride the bus in this city. take me to any other city and i love public transportation. but....i will not take a bus in seattle. because i am a snob.
so....i will not take a trip for an "adventure". i don't really want to go to thailand even if it is super cheap. i want to sit on a nice, clean beach. i want to get drunk and tan. i want to understand what people are saying. i want to not worry about the food or water. i only want to be on a plane for 5 hours.
i have done the crazy- backpack- hitch hike- sleep in hostels-eat granola bars- vacation. i don't need to do it anymore....at least not now.
when i want to go on a vacation to experience another culture or to go on an adventure.....i will go to paris. :)
wow.....i suck today.