the child is leaving again. this is always hard. tonight it seems even harder. i am not sure why...it could be because this is the first time she has said " i don't want to go, momma. i want to stay here." i think it is also hard because i didn't really think this trip was going to happen. i put it so far out of my mind that it felt like a cruel surprise.
we had a relaxing night. watched musicals. ordered pizza. i took a bath with riley. this is something we used to do so often....and now, not so much. partly because of her getting older, but mostly because i like my bath water a lot hotter than her and i am not so into playing with barbies. but tonight it was so lovely. we put on a moisturizing face masks (i washed the mascara off my eyes and she goes "whoa....you look freaky"....she said this in the softest, terrified cutest voice). we chatted. i explained the difference between smoke and steam. after we put on our cozies, cuddled up and read dr. suess.
i already miss her.