my ghost

the days turn over

a pretty pumpkin
on every porch


it never really was
but it haunts just the same
like a dream
remembered in tiny pieces

no lazy sunday
french toast
coffee shop flipflops

i feel frozen

like the day i found your ring
under the couch
in a perfect sliver of sunlight

i held it in my hand
titanium and weightless
lost
and it was
so heavy

all i wanted was to tie it to a brick and throw it off the nearest bridge


but i didn't


i walked away
toward another

to hold something tangible
anything
because he could be mine
all mine
a warm body
the warmest

and i am still frozen