mtv and the loss of soul

i am really sad that the photobooth on my laptop no longer works. if it was working i would take a pic and put it here to show what it looks like when you bite through the tip of your tongue. i caught an elbow to the jaw....and now i have a mangled tongue. luckily, the mouth heals quickly. i would also take a pic of my new haircut to show how much i look like sienna miller.

have you seen the new show on mtv with tila tequila? holy shit. holy holy holy shit. it made my soul hurt. i felt totally nauseous while watching it. are people really like this? i am so disturbed by this show...and i can't look away. so....she is bi.....she "is looking for love" (cough...bullshit) and has a house with a group of dudes and a group of lesbians all fighting for her...um...love? anyway, they ALL SHARE A BED. this is so creepy and wrong and awesome. and of course there are cameras capturing every angle of the bed. the lesbians are pretty hot....slutty...femme.....nice tits....etc....the dudes on the other hand are so disgusting. gross. not one normal one. not one even half way good looking...(what does this say about men?) in the first episode, a stupid hick and an obnoxious black dude keep brawling (if you can call it that..it is really quite pathetic). this upsets tila and she starts to tear up because she just announced (for the first time?...um....ok...) that she is bi....and she is very vulnerable (poor, poor bisexual) so...one of the lesbian is "comforting" her by licking the inside of her mouth. when they are done kissing, tila wipes away a tear, looks at the girl and says "you are so pretty" in this weird canned hollow i-can't-wait-to-fuck-you voice. like, exactly what the maid says to the rich woman in a bad porn right before she gets on her knees, lifts her fancy dress, and licks her pussy. this is the first episode. i can not wait to see the rest of this show.


i made meatloaf. with this great tomato relish. so good. i am queen of the kitchen.

oh, also....i have lost 3 more pounds. so, that means i have lost 5 lbs this week. so i only need to lose 5 more in the next two weeks. so far the only thing i do to lose weight is stop drinking and stop eating dessert every night. i wonder what would happen if i actually worked out and ate salad with lean protein. i mean, aside from being totally miserable and hungry...i would be so fucking thin.