Monday, July 21, 2008

8 things that make me angry

cancer. i dislike you, cancer. stay the hell away from my family. if i ran into cancer in a dark alley, i would totally bash it's face in with a two by four. then i would be like "what's that cancer, i can't hear you....what? you are sorry? well so am i..." and i would kick cancer in the gonads. and then jump up and down on cancer's stomach like a trampoline.

i have no picture for this. it doesn't deserve one.

i really REALLY don't like to see animals in human clothing. The worst possible example of this is a baby chimp in overalls. The mental image of this alone makes me want to scream. I also don't like it when people dress up their dogs in little doggie outfits. it gives me serious heebiejeebis. i admit that this is one of the most clever of examples, but it still bothers my soul:

dust bunnies. what are they and where do they come from. really. and why do they have a cute name...when they are so disgusting. i would prefer a real bunny under my chair. like this one:

my left blinker stopped working. so did my cd player. and i need new brakes. and new tabs. i dislike my car. i want to sell it and get a smart car. or a bicycle.

there is some type of aggressive weed taking over the yard. it has spikes. thick, sharp thorns. and i think the tips are laced with poison. and it has roots to china. it's leaves look like the face of satan (that is not true, but they should). it grows from a tiny shoot into an eight foot tree in about a minute. i need a chainsaw.

my hair is really pissing me off. it is in the ugliest grow out place. i look like a muppet. (with this thought i just franticly started hacking away at it with tiny scissors from my manicure set. i don't think it helped).

it makes me angry that this bed does not belong to me. so dreamy.

i am a little peeved that there is no chocolate in the house right now.
i almost bought chocolate today that had bacon pieces in it. why didn't i? i don't know. because i am dumb. oh man i wish i had some bacon chocolate right now.

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