today

fourth of july. independence day.
my father's birthday.



this time
rain in july
through the screen door
like fog
i am
all water particles
a saline drip
seemingly calm
seemingly

in a moment i will
burst into needles
i want to punch concrete
hard
to break every bone in my hand
every tiny bone
i wish i could put my head through this wall


fourth of july
bbq's and flags
you want angel food cake
i refuse to see a connection
(please, god, save him with this cake)
and there you are, complete. all your limbs and lines. a man with a life.
a man who's blood turned against him.
do you feel it pumping?
please tell me it doesn't hurt.
please.

the possums and robins flee
tiny hearts exploding
the fireworks
don't startle me

not this year


we sit by the sea
breathe in the salt
breathe
celebrate your birth
calm
seemingly